How To Deal with People That You Dislike
Unless you are from a different planet, it is likely to have people we do not like in our lifetime. We live in a world where while some people might drive us crazy, likewise we might also be irritating for a few. It might be one of your cousins or your mother-in-law, we all are bound to have someone we simply do not click with.
While you know life would be much comfortable if you could avoid them, restricting yourself is never the solution, it will only limit you, it is better to shift one’s perspective. Interacting with a difficult person is a delicate art, and you can learn it.
Here is a list of tips that you can use to get along with people you are not comfortable with. These tips will help you make the best of the demanding situation.
Accepting the Reality
Accept that we cannot get along with everyone in life, as much as you want to like everyone, it is natural to have few people whom you may not like. So, the first step is to take a deep breath and accept this reality, It doesn’t make you a bad person. It simply means that you and the other person are different from different opinions, beliefs, thought processes, etc. No person is intrinsically a bad person, they simply have different values.
Accept the difference
Accepting the uniqueness of other people will help you understand their way of being, so try to recognize and accept their individuality. Understanding different perspectives will provide creativity and new thinking in your life as well.
Maintain your Peace
It is important to understand your emotions, choose to adopt positive self-talk, encourage appreciating the things that are going good in your life, this will help you focus on the blessings in your life. This will help you in diverting yourself from the doings of that person. You can always choose to remain civilized and polite in any discussion with that person.
It is easy to take things personally when we doubt our individuality, things often escalate fiercely when we are not sure of our self. Often an aggressive confrontation may lead to disagreement and misunderstanding. It is often beneficial to introduce objectivity to the situation, this will save you from overreaction that you might regret later. When you are aware you will be dealing with a person you dislike, quiet your mind, and adopt a “let go” attitude. Focus on talking less and listening more.
Establish positive boundaries
Find a way to calmly express how you feel, choose “I” statements when you explain what hurts you. E.g. “when you say this…I feel ….”. Then wait for the other person’s response, be specific in your conversation.
Choose your battles
At times, everything is not worth your time and attention, it is vital to ask oneself the need to engage with that one person. Sometimes, it is better to let things go. Evaluate the situation and sidestep when needed. While it is important to voice your apprehensions and concerns, considering what issues are worth your time is equally important.
Avoid being defensive
Sometimes, you may find yourself in the midst of constant belittling, the person might often choose to dismiss you or focus on your errors and flaws. Try to find a common ground, will help you understand the person. Imagine yourself in their situation or circumstances, so as to understand or empathize with their point of view. This will create more acceptance and compassion for the other person and you will be able to see the reasons behind their way of being them. This will also facilitate in bridging the gaps and save you from frustrating communication.
Find your Support system
Do not attempt to solve everything by yourself, it might make you feel isolated and frustrated. Rather, find your group of trusted friends, they will provide you the much-needed space and will help you vent out your emotions. A trusted friend can also help you with a piece of advice to deal with the demanding situation. They may also help you discover a new perspective of the challenging situation.
Believe that you are the creator of your reality
No one can limit your happiness, often the thought of interacting with people we dislike creates a rise in our anxiety levels. Our stress levels start mounting even before we face them in person.
Remember, you can only control your emotions and actions, so focus on yourself instead of trying to fix the other person. No one can steal your happiness unless you fall victim to that person’s behavior.